Blogs..
places to vent, summarise, update and generally get your views out there... however huge or insignificant.
I've just read a random blog on symmetry.. call it paranoia or just instinct but it just feels so personal. It could be nothing, it could be everything.. i'm so confused right now, with everything.
I want to be a good man, do the right thing with my life.. love the people close to me and have the future that's been planned. I don't know if it's gone wrong.. if it is then i don't know where it's gone wrong..
I just don't know anything!
You know, writing this doesn't do anything to ease my concerns though, if i'm being honest.. i thought it might but i'm just so stressed.. my whole body is tense it's actually hard to type..
I don't do stress, everything is alright and i'm happy with that.. i don't know how to deal with stress...
why?
Friday, 30 April 2010
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Take some time to make some sense, of what you want to say...
Ok, so even though i've had this blog thing for a couple of years now i've not really allowed it to flourish much.. call it lazyness, i would!
Anyway, i just found the 'Next Blog>' link (after 2 years, yeah yeah i know!?)
The places this button click an take you is such a powerful thing and i've spent a while perusing and even following the varied destinations.
Little things will draw me in and grab my attention... a picture, a place and even someone with the same car as me... i'm that easily hooked.
From reading all the anecdotes and mini life stories.. no matter how random, emotional or irrelevant.. makes me ask the question, why do people do this?
I enjoyed English at school and reading, but never kept a diary that i can recall. I've never aspired to be a writer, journalist, or reporter of the complete game of life. I hate keeping small talk with people i don't know.. i find weddings and such like can be really hard work.
So what is it that compels me to scribe these notes of mine?
(Seriously, any answers will be considered and either dismissed outright or pondered)
The only thing i have personally come up with so far is it's a release of some kind. A mere outlet to which you can get things off your mind, kinda like a portable hard-drive (or recycle bin maybe?) cos' you can't have too much stuff going on in your head all the time, else nothing would ever get done.
Anyway, i just found the 'Next Blog>' link (after 2 years, yeah yeah i know!?)
The places this button click an take you is such a powerful thing and i've spent a while perusing and even following the varied destinations.
Little things will draw me in and grab my attention... a picture, a place and even someone with the same car as me... i'm that easily hooked.
From reading all the anecdotes and mini life stories.. no matter how random, emotional or irrelevant.. makes me ask the question, why do people do this?
I enjoyed English at school and reading, but never kept a diary that i can recall. I've never aspired to be a writer, journalist, or reporter of the complete game of life. I hate keeping small talk with people i don't know.. i find weddings and such like can be really hard work.
So what is it that compels me to scribe these notes of mine?
(Seriously, any answers will be considered and either dismissed outright or pondered)
The only thing i have personally come up with so far is it's a release of some kind. A mere outlet to which you can get things off your mind, kinda like a portable hard-drive (or recycle bin maybe?) cos' you can't have too much stuff going on in your head all the time, else nothing would ever get done.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
Friday, 23 April 2010
If you were a Super Hero...
The age old question.. if you were a super hero what power would you want?
I used to think teleportation... anywhere i liked i could be there in a moment! At the summit of Lady Liberty... On the steps of Machu Pichu... Drinking at some fantasy oasis in the middle of the Sahara. No flights, passports, costs... just the ease of blinking my eyes.
When I was younger i thought invisibility was a great one. Just imagine, going anywhere you shouldn't... life would be like a complete fly-on-the-wall documentary. The ultimate voyeur.. or spy!?
Recently I have decided on the one power, given preference, that i wished was in my possession. Mind reading!
People can be so hard to read at the best of times, but when it's someone extremely close to you it's almost impossible. When love is involved it's easy to say one thing to not hurt someone, when really you're too scared to say all you really want to.
If everyone could read each others minds I can't imagine how the human race would work. No secrets.. everything would be out there. Racism, sexism, the most innocent of thoughts mixed with the totally depraved.. there would be blood, I have no doubt.
But I don't want to read every one's mind... just the one person. The one I love, the one who holds my heart and who I'm totally at mercy too right now. The one I thought held the same visions and future plans as me... and the one I don't ever want to lose.
I'm not a super hero, I'll never achieve my desired super power but even if i were... i don't think it'd help my cause. Love can't be controlled or played, it isn't the game that all the songs make it out to be. It's greater than that.. and I don't want to lose the love i have now.
^^ xx
I used to think teleportation... anywhere i liked i could be there in a moment! At the summit of Lady Liberty... On the steps of Machu Pichu... Drinking at some fantasy oasis in the middle of the Sahara. No flights, passports, costs... just the ease of blinking my eyes.
When I was younger i thought invisibility was a great one. Just imagine, going anywhere you shouldn't... life would be like a complete fly-on-the-wall documentary. The ultimate voyeur.. or spy!?
Recently I have decided on the one power, given preference, that i wished was in my possession. Mind reading!
People can be so hard to read at the best of times, but when it's someone extremely close to you it's almost impossible. When love is involved it's easy to say one thing to not hurt someone, when really you're too scared to say all you really want to.
If everyone could read each others minds I can't imagine how the human race would work. No secrets.. everything would be out there. Racism, sexism, the most innocent of thoughts mixed with the totally depraved.. there would be blood, I have no doubt.
But I don't want to read every one's mind... just the one person. The one I love, the one who holds my heart and who I'm totally at mercy too right now. The one I thought held the same visions and future plans as me... and the one I don't ever want to lose.
I'm not a super hero, I'll never achieve my desired super power but even if i were... i don't think it'd help my cause. Love can't be controlled or played, it isn't the game that all the songs make it out to be. It's greater than that.. and I don't want to lose the love i have now.
^^ xx
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Saturday, 17 April 2010
All you need is love!
Of course I know who they are but I think it's kinda tragic how so many people now don't know the music or weren't lucky enough to be brought up on it.
I watched an amazing film 'Across The Universe' and was totally moved by it.. it just hit so many emotions! The style it was produced, the use of each Beatles song perfectly inter-linked, the casting... all just threw it up there into the, forever hard to list, top 5.
There songs encapsulate so much raw, yet playful, emotion and I can listen to them for hours... safe in the knowledge that my kids will be one day (when conceived and born) be likewise blessed.
Other recent film highlights would be The History Boys (an awesome british film) and Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Again well up there with High Fidelity, Juno, Empire Records.
There is a distinct feel here.. if a film has a killer soundtrack and is even slightly quirky I'll probably enjoy it.
Peace out!
I watched an amazing film 'Across The Universe' and was totally moved by it.. it just hit so many emotions! The style it was produced, the use of each Beatles song perfectly inter-linked, the casting... all just threw it up there into the, forever hard to list, top 5.
There songs encapsulate so much raw, yet playful, emotion and I can listen to them for hours... safe in the knowledge that my kids will be one day (when conceived and born) be likewise blessed.
Other recent film highlights would be The History Boys (an awesome british film) and Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Again well up there with High Fidelity, Juno, Empire Records.
There is a distinct feel here.. if a film has a killer soundtrack and is even slightly quirky I'll probably enjoy it.
Peace out!
November 2008?? i totally gave up on life (blogging) didn't i?
So yeah, I went through that fad of blogging crap... totally lost interest as I do so many other things fairly quickly.
I've had some shit going down that has made me seriously take a step back. I've spent a lot of time to myself and, beforehand, always thought i was happy in my own company. This hasn't changed but I realise I'll do anything to distract from the boredom that being kinda lonely brings.
Gaming.. something I truly love and enjoy doing. Now when a game grabs you it's immense.. you want to play that extra mission, collect the next treasure, see how the next chapter unfolds. I had the bug with Final Fantasy XIII, as I knew I would being a bit of a fanboy. A fanboy that owns all of the titles available but has never completed one fully... until now!! And you want the reason? Trophies!!
Yes.. when you've nothing better to do with your time, or have no-one close to hang out with, I have found myself to be a trophy whore. Be it competition with friends or just the need to get that next level, the higher percentage.. i've resorted to it. I only ask myself why, after a couple of hours religious play, I actually bothered.
I gain nothing from it, it whiles away the hours sure.. but I don't end up with any real satisfaction out of it.
Completing a game i've truly enjoyed playing, and the whole experience that goes with achieving that, gives me satisfaction. Assassin's Creed II, Uncharted's 1 & 2, Batman, Heavy Rain and now FFXIII to name the most recent. Each time the end credits rolled I felt kind of smug with how i'd done and happy of the effort i'd put in.
Now Heavy Rain was great to complete as it was like a movie! BUT... I found completing it the 2nd time on my own PS3, purely for the trophies, to be a real slog. Skipping the cutscenes.. playing at easiest difficulty just to speed up the hours needed to choose and ending and hear the acute 'ping!' noise as each trophy scored.
Since then it's been easy whoring with Dynasty Warriors 6 Empires, Sega Superstars Racing, Lego Indy 2, Dirt 2 and even Fifa09. Dirt 2, being honest, has totally impressed me and has had many hours ploughed into it for the excitement the game brings rather than the 'ping!' But Fifa09!?! C'mon.. I'm a staunch Pro Evo fanboy but the ease these trophies dropped into my lap I couldn't say no.. and at £2.98 a copy I'd have to be crazy not to buy it just for that reason alone!
I don't think I can really sum anything up of all the drivel i've just written. I get bored watching TV, bored of reading and even bored of playing games now too. I used to listen listen to music for hours and totally lose myself, but songs make you think about things, and when you're on your own for a lengthy period all you do is think about things so that doesn't help either.
It's this boredom that leads me to write this.. i'm sat here with nothing better to do.
On the bright side I may have a new job this time next week.. I'll blog all about my last one someday. The memoirs of a independant manager working for a commercial game selling dictatorship.. Lol.
Bitchin!
I've had some shit going down that has made me seriously take a step back. I've spent a lot of time to myself and, beforehand, always thought i was happy in my own company. This hasn't changed but I realise I'll do anything to distract from the boredom that being kinda lonely brings.
Gaming.. something I truly love and enjoy doing. Now when a game grabs you it's immense.. you want to play that extra mission, collect the next treasure, see how the next chapter unfolds. I had the bug with Final Fantasy XIII, as I knew I would being a bit of a fanboy. A fanboy that owns all of the titles available but has never completed one fully... until now!! And you want the reason? Trophies!!
Yes.. when you've nothing better to do with your time, or have no-one close to hang out with, I have found myself to be a trophy whore. Be it competition with friends or just the need to get that next level, the higher percentage.. i've resorted to it. I only ask myself why, after a couple of hours religious play, I actually bothered.
I gain nothing from it, it whiles away the hours sure.. but I don't end up with any real satisfaction out of it.
Completing a game i've truly enjoyed playing, and the whole experience that goes with achieving that, gives me satisfaction. Assassin's Creed II, Uncharted's 1 & 2, Batman, Heavy Rain and now FFXIII to name the most recent. Each time the end credits rolled I felt kind of smug with how i'd done and happy of the effort i'd put in.
Now Heavy Rain was great to complete as it was like a movie! BUT... I found completing it the 2nd time on my own PS3, purely for the trophies, to be a real slog. Skipping the cutscenes.. playing at easiest difficulty just to speed up the hours needed to choose and ending and hear the acute 'ping!' noise as each trophy scored.
Since then it's been easy whoring with Dynasty Warriors 6 Empires, Sega Superstars Racing, Lego Indy 2, Dirt 2 and even Fifa09. Dirt 2, being honest, has totally impressed me and has had many hours ploughed into it for the excitement the game brings rather than the 'ping!' But Fifa09!?! C'mon.. I'm a staunch Pro Evo fanboy but the ease these trophies dropped into my lap I couldn't say no.. and at £2.98 a copy I'd have to be crazy not to buy it just for that reason alone!
I don't think I can really sum anything up of all the drivel i've just written. I get bored watching TV, bored of reading and even bored of playing games now too. I used to listen listen to music for hours and totally lose myself, but songs make you think about things, and when you're on your own for a lengthy period all you do is think about things so that doesn't help either.
It's this boredom that leads me to write this.. i'm sat here with nothing better to do.
On the bright side I may have a new job this time next week.. I'll blog all about my last one someday. The memoirs of a independant manager working for a commercial game selling dictatorship.. Lol.
Bitchin!
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